If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
