Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
