I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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