im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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