who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
