dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize