im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
