if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize