Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
