she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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