Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
