the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
