Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize