R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
