Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
