You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize