Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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