Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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