dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hello my rib-scented angel!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
