its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
