you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize