my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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