Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
