you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize