Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
