I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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