thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this hospital has no fireball
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
