It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
