In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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