i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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