I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
