he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
