when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
