mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
