I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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