and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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