Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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