My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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