do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
