Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
