That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
