The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
