that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
