no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
