Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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