Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
