New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
