im having a threesome with these popsicles
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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