Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
