He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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