he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
