Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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