i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just found puke in my bra..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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