She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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