I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize