quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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