Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there's paper in my vomit.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
